bored.....

this few days i didn't write any blogs...'cause i was so lazy to go online...haha....okok...today at school so boring....wtf! i fell asleep in class...there are only 10 person in class...our class so 'leng ching' la....everyone is so busy with the concert thing....i feel so stupid being so free till i wanna get involve in soething...=.=...i even don't have the chance to see all my fellow friends...=.=....someone offers me n shin nee to be the narrator of their drama...however we decide not to go for it..'cause its so scary..you know i am so timid...at least we find someone else for them...

argh!! i hate my damn fringe..it always cover my eyes...have to wait till holidays only i will go for a hair cut...i read gossip girl lent by my friend..the story quite you-know-what with some sex scenes but its nice to read... :) actually i so wanna come for the concert on friday night...have to think a way to go....

oo...and this few days i stay at home almost 24 hours...lazy to go out too..hahaha...my mum's birthday on last sunday...she treaed us for western food as dinner....yummy-licious... :P...i bought some books at popular...nothing special happen lately...=.=....bored bored bored....

hmmm....i think i should start to do exercise....^^ at least it will not be that boring...okok...i really hope that holidays will arrive ASAP!! i have a lot i mean loads of plans for this holidays...^^




tzelovelife~*

firm with my decisions...

today,i am suppose to go to band practice..however i skip it...>.<...i still don't feel like wanna go...so i stay in the classroom...my history A1!! yay!! XD...at least all the studying is worth it...then me,yee xin,wai xian,shin nee 'n' zi ning go to do the enzyme thing in the lab...the enzyme thing is the fermentation of bacteria i thing in a enclosed container...for three months..i still remember that we prepare for he fermentation stuff and now three months have pass...time do really flies...>.<...it is fun doing it with all my buddies... :)

then,we give some to the teachers... i see our band-going-to-be colour guards practising their moves...then i hear percussion practising...miss them so much...i n mak go to see them..but i hide in the hall to see them...honestly i do really miss percussion...but i have to choose...i have to sacrifice it for my future...when i see them practising,i nearly cry out...why i chose band in stead of girl guide at the first place...i regretted it now...if i am a ranger now...i think i need not to worry about this band stuff...haiz..what is done cannot be undone....i must be firm with my decision..must jyjy next year...no more 'bad year' like this year... my est essay gets quite a low mark...T.T...why? why? why? must do more essay...i ad,it it,my 'essay power' getting worse..T.T...i play chinese chess with shin nee..i won twice..wakakaka..quite challenging...^^....june lets me see the weird boy reply...okay...he apologizes....but he is really weird...>.<....

tomorrow i am not going to band camp..yay...hahaha...can sleep late..yahoo! 'cause if i go,wasting time only...haha...so...tomorrow i can play maple...okok...don't regret with my decision...no 'xin si si' to go back to band...FIRM! monday holiday! yay! sleeeeeeeeeeep.........ZZzZzzZZzZzzzZ............




tzelovelife~*

numb...

today...same old bored day.....malay 68%..T.T....Bc 2 52%..T.T....i must go for bc tuition....really next year must gambatte!!! jyjy!!! i help mak to do those certificates thing at the staff room...quite good 'cause got air-conditioner...hahaha...i see all my band seniors got so many certificates...and their koko marks whoa really high....hmmm...looks like i'll have a pretty low koko marks...T.T...then mak tells me if i wanna go to ipta need koko marks...if i wanna go ipts probably no need to consider 'bout koko marks...oo...then i wanna go ipts so no need to care 'bout my koko marks then....wakakaka... :P

today after school,when me,weng yee and au min eat our lunch at the canteen...au min crys because of her results...i know she works very hard...and yet she cannot achieve her target...i understand her feelings...i am facing the same situation as hers too...weng yee and me console her...and v chat about something else which are happy stuffs...at chemistry tuition those d*** pengawas took our regular seats..argh!!! i have serious short-sightedness....my eye sore...=.=...teacher ask 'bout my result...T.T...i say my school teacher don't accept that we learn something out ofour syllabus...my tuition teacher so shock...and he says so heartpain...wahahaha..he even teases our shool teacher...by saying don't allow me to learn things out of our syllabus...hahaha...so fuuny... XD...he says he will reward students getting results above 80%...yay!! hooray!!! i promise i will get higher marks in the coming exam next year...

my mum gave au min a little reward to console her...she says she is touched...i am glad too...i talk to her and contribute some idea to find a way for her to learn art...i am so happy i can help her..^@^~~... today during tuition june lets me see an email from a boy from sam tet..wow...he uses all those bombastic words...ichiban!! haha...i am eager to see what's his reply to june...today after school i go to au min class to look for xin..then she is not in class...hing tells me that she goes to parade...wow...she has changed..i am quite disappointed in her that she join the 'hao' gang...haiz...i shall just 'sun qi zhi ran'....

tomorrow i have to stay for band practice till 3.30p.m...i don't want!!! haiz...au min asks me to be patience and go to the camp 'n' practice maybe for the last time...ya...be patience...(deep breath...)...patience................quite sleepy now... >.<...nitexx...happy sweet 16th birthday wan wei!!! =^@^=



tzelovelife~*

sad...

today i get my biology results...paper 1 is quite okay....i am very happy about my paper 2...at least everything is worth it...you know among the three science subjets i dislike the most is biology...

i get my pendidikan moral result...48% only!!! i am so shock!!! i study real hard....i wrote the wrong format...i hate myself so much...why am i so careless!? haiz...what is done cannot be undone...i cry at school..i can't control it...i never fell so sad for my results before...maybe it is because that i have put a lot of effort in it...i fell so angry and i hate myself for being so careless...there are so many obstacles this year....yesterday i was so happy about my add maths result..then today 'bang!' my moral result so poor...

and that's not all...i really think that my chemistry result will cheer me up..'bang!!!!!' a larger slap on my face...i get 87%...my target is beyond this mark...i am so shock...what's happening to me? i really studied and put all my hopes on this subject...i was so numb at that moment...at first, i am thinking that how am i going to tell my chemistry tuition teacher about my result? i even have the guts to think that my chemistry teacher pin-pointing me..

when my mum fetches me back from school...i cry in the car...when i reach home,i cry at my room...i have a severe heartache...my mum says take it as a lesson...yes.i know...but my heart fell so pain...some even tease me....saying that i shoudn't think that i will get full marks all the time...i am so sad that time...i be patience and ignore her only,if not i'll slap her right in her face...after all the mourning,i tell myself that this is a great lesson that God wants me to go through and learn to overcome the obstacles and be tough...i must keep moving forward...i am responsible for my own results...i will tell my tuition teacher that i promise him to get flying results next year...and ready to claim my present from him...

i will stand stronger...i will never let those nonsense people to tease me anymore...never ever! i konw what i want and i promise myself that i will definitely work 110% hard...i will ensure that i never cry when i get my results anymore in future...i am really glad that many of my friends are there to console me and help me....even my family too...thanks mum! thanks au min! thanks allyson,yee xin,shin nee,june,wei chien,yin mei! thanks guys!


Failure is delay,but not defeat.
It is a temporary detour,
not a dead-end street.
William Arthur Ward



tzelovelife~*

big decision..

today after school i went to band meeting...(finally) hahaha :)...kar mun scolding the juniors...shu mei came too..i was so happy to see her....she asked how is my decision on joining the school band competition...i said i was so frustrated and confused...so...shu mei and i went to the percussion room to chat....

i told her everything...i told her why i must study hard...because i wanna study overseas...i wan to prove to the family of my father's side that i can study well too...i also told her that i have financial problem...and how mak hurted my feelings last time...and my father working very hard at outstation just to earn money for me to study overseas....and my studies are always my priority...i cried when i told her everything....

i was so glad that she understands me....she said i would rather choose to study than going to band meeting...and that's true...she said i must choose something i am really sure of and the things that i want....i was afraid of what others say about me...she told me not to bother what others say...and go for it...and never ever regret...v chatted for quite a long time...i felt relieved after i told her all my feelings...at least she knew my situation...she advised me to focus on my studies...and put band aside...

it's true studies are my priority..it's my decision that i am not going to join the school band competiton next year...i must not regret on my decision...now all i need to do is to inform angel and mak about my decision...i must be strong and keep moving forward...Thank you shu mei!!

i played the bass drum too...okay...i was so 'char'....haiz....i knew my heart was not there...my mind was wandering don't know where....at least i enjoyed the piece entitled 'la bamba'...it was fun..i love the song so much...i love the way kar mun conducts too...she seems to guide me whenever i played wrong or slow...i felt a little secured too at least she guides me back to the correct beat...Thank you kar mun!!

today i got my add maths result too...i got 82!!! ^@^~~ i was so happy i mean overwhelmed...i wanna cry...all the hardwork is worth it! all my acnes are worth it! i improved! i didn't get my chemistry result today T.T...i hope teacher will distribute our exam papers tomorrow...i pray that i can get 90++%...hahaha :) i also hope that i will not fail my bahasa malaysia n bahasa cina papers...

well,nothing much happen today... i knew that everyone was busy for the concert thing...i even didin't have a chance to chat with yee xin...hope she's okay...'cause i wanna play maple story...hahaha...XD miss maple sooooooooo much....bye...





tzelovelife~*

partee~~

today i went to june's belated birthday party...it was fun...i arrived there at about 1.45p.m..su tien had arrived earlier than me...it was awkward for both of us...'cause we had never chatted for a long time...nothing to say to her...she told me her trip yesterday to watch the puppet show...she went with her classmates...she even remembered her new friend's birthday and not even mine...kinda sad...haiz...v r friends since 8 years old...haiz...

i ate a lot of food at june's house...fried noodles,'xiao jin pei',savoury tarts,cheese tarts,sandwiches,salad and deli chicken wings...whoa...i was really full...then as usual...we sang birthday song for june...her birthday was made by her mum..so cool... :) it tastes delicious!
nothing much to do...just play play-station 2...but it was really fun...su tien played the dancing machine...than we played other games too...it was fun!! i love the dancing machine...i really hope i have 1 in my house...hahaha...

june opened all the presents we gave her...she loved all the preents..that's great! ^^ wei chien and allyson gave her a cute pantie..lol...well..that's really creative...during the whole party allyson andhing acted sort of weird...as for hing i knew why...as for allyson i didn't know..i wondered what's bothring her...maybe s*** again? >.<>.< i am lazy...still i have to go...and yet i am still indecisive about my decision whether to join the band competition or not...haiz...somebody please help me...what should i do? tomorrow i have to stay back for band meeting...cannot skip tomorrow...i must make a decision ASAP!! god please help me!!

well i shall stop here now...i have a stomachache now..and i don't know why...maybe i ate too much...tomorrow i am going to get my add maths 'n' chemistry results...i hope i can reach my targets...




tzelovelife~*

confused...

i am so confused...i don't know what i want...i am trying to avoid the problem and yet i still have to face it one day...yesterday i did something really wrong...i purposely woke up late so i can arrive late at my band meeting...then i met yee xin and chatted with her...i know i was late...and yet i chose not to go...Better late than never was a crap in my mind yesterday...i asked yee xin whether i should go for band competition next year or not...she said sure..why not?

As for me...i was sure that i wan to go for it too...but...later i became indecisive...too many i have to think about...first of all of course is my studies...what to do i must study hard so i can earn to study abroad...yes my dad promised me that i can study abroad where ever i want IF i get real good results..i can feel the pressure...i must study abroad...i want to leave m'sia...second reason is,i don't wish to lose all my friends that is not band members...when i get so involved in the competition i will not always be in class...i am afraid that i'll be less close to my besties in class like yee xin,allyson,shin nee,wei chien,zi ning,yin mei and many more...it's really hard for me...thirdly,i hate to admit it...but this competition thing really takes up a lot of my time...i really want my own time for myself dong stuffs i like...yes,some will say involving in the band is 'the thing' they like...As for me..it is not 'the thing' that i like much..i like to read books alone...shop alone...and watch my favourite cartoon programme...these are 'the thing' that i like most...

Besides this,getting 100% involved in band really uses a lot of money...and i really mean it...like this year they went to china..the expenses is almost RM1500++...whoa that's a lot of money...some even got a loan from school...i still remember that end of this year there is a trip to hong kong...all the accomodation fees are free except the plane ticket about RM1200...if i go,i have to get my own passport too...about RM300...so the total amount is about RM1800++...it is not a small number to me...mak say go and borrow money from others...or go and work...or get from my dad...borrow money? this is the stupidest idea! still you need to return...i don't want to get tied to owning others money...go and work? i am just sixteen how much will i get by just working as a waitress...get from my dad? my dad works so hard at outstation to earn money for me to study abroad...then i use the money for some trip to hong kong just for fun...is it worth it? no!

i remembered what mak said...'this is a great experience...its worth it...even if you have the will,you will go...the money save for what? even if in future you study abroad and there is a same case you wanna go to a trip and your father says the same thing,save the money for your school fees then don't allow you to go...and bla bla bla......' what she said really hurts me alot...i chose not to go and she said so many things just to make me go to that trip...maybe she has the financial ability to go...but for me...i don't have any...why she just can't understand me?

i hope i can continue but i can't i have to get prepared to attend my bestie's sweet sixteen birthday party...i'll continue later...bye..^^

tzelovelife~*